Over the holiday break, I was talking to a friend, and she shared that she had had terrible anxiety, and she was not sure why. She blamed it on the holiday hussle. Our conversation got me thinking about the power of saying NO.
Why is it so hard for us to say NO? Saying yes is so easy and seems to have all the feels with it, but saying no feels so negative. But saying YES can actually hurt you. Continually saying yes starts to take the joy out of why you are saying yes.
Over the holidays, I said YES to the baking, the parties, the volunteering, the making memories, the traditions. Did anyone else do this? For the most part, I did enjoy a lot of these yesses, but all of these yesses also made me fatigued and tired. And I don’t know about you, but when I am tired and fatigued, I am cranky, have trouble focusing, and lose sight of what it is important to me. I missed doing things that brought me personal joy because I was so tired from all the yesses. During all this, the one thing that helped give me my pep back was walking into Beau. The workouts are all great all the time! As another friend said recently, “There are never any groomer days in here, it is always a powder day.” Just walking into the social room and being greeted by friends some that you see all the time others that you only see when you come workout brings me so much joy. Watching people find comfort in gift-giving and telling their stories makes my heart full. Saying NO to running errands and doing laundry and saying YES to meeting a friend for a workout fills my bucket with much happiness and joy.
NO is not a negative. It is uncomfortable because we genuinely want to help others and say YES to our family and friends, even if it means saying NO to ourselves. I feel guilty when I say NO, even though saying YES takes away time from something that I love. Saying NO makes time for what you love.
Think of this... saying NO gives your yes more power. By saying NO, your yesses will have more meaning, and when you are brave enough to say no, the value of the yes goes up. Saying yes means something. If your mouth is about to blurt out a YES, but your mind is screaming NO, then say, Maybe! At least then, you can give yourself some time to think about if you want to say YES.
Say yes to that hike with your friends, say see you later laundry, it will still there when you get back. Say yes to sitting down and listening to your kids talk about their day, say no to standing there only partially listening while you multi task on one of the many “to do’s” of the day. Free your life by saying NO and say YES to what fills your heart. Make your yesses have power and value again. Allow your yesses to bring you joy. There is no better time to start than now.